Running to Win- Be Accountable (Ecc. 4:9-12; Prov. 27:17)

Prepared and preached by Pastor Steve Rhodes for and at Bethel Friends Church in Poland, OH on Sunday, November 17, 2024

It is Sunday. This means that we are supposed to be at church, right? We are here to worship, we are here to grow, we are here to see our friends and maybe learn something and then we are done. True?

I don’t think so. We need each other through the week.

Have you ever been lonely?

I remember being in elementary school, and at that time, I had school friends and then friends at home. I did not want to cross-connect those groups. If I knew you from school and saw you outside of school, I think it was a reminder of school. As I got older, I got over that. But during that time, I was also very lonely at school. I was an extreme introvert, and that plagued me up until high school. In addition to that, when I was in kindergarten, they started taking me out of class and making me take special tests. Eventually, the specialist teacher, not my kindergarten teacher, walked me back down the hall to my kindergarten class. She sat me on the bench and said, “You may wonder why we are doing these things.” I said, “Yes.” She then explained that some people need special education or something like that in kindergarten terms.

From first grade through halfway through third grade, I would leave my normal class at specific points to join this learning disability class. That is what they called it, though to this day, I don’t really know what my actual disability was. I remember being told, “You will always have a learning disability; it will always be more difficult for you to learn things.” Well, I hated it. At least through first grade and part of second grade, I felt different. I was already a shy and introverted kid and had difficulty making friends, but it didn’t help that I was in and out of my homeroom class.

The learning disability teacher would give me a picture of a clock and say, “At this time, get up and walk out of the room and come to my class.” For a second grader, it felt like everyone looked at me when I left and came back in. I remember entering my normal class, and they had books out and were in the middle of something, and I was wondering what they were doing. I always felt behind the rest of the class, even though I was being helped. I remember that we had three recess sessions in second grade: morning, after lunch, and then afternoon. At the beginning of the school year, I went out to recess with my class. Then, my learning disability teacher came out and yelled at me as we walked into the school, telling me that I was not supposed to go to recess because I was supposed to join her class during that time. She said I was told that. Therefore, I did not have morning recess for the rest of that year. I know they meant well, and I know I was helped, but it was hard emotionally.

By third grade, I excelled; halfway through the year, I could exit the learning disability class for good. I had to go to a tutor, but I was relieved. Sometimes that catches up with me. I am still a very slow reader, though I think I learn things better now than ever, maybe because of that class.

They always reminded me how grateful I should be that I had a school with a special class like that. I remember being in an inductive Bible study class in seminary, and something hit me. It was as if the devil told me, “What are you doing? Who do you think you are looking at these Greek words? Remember those days in the learning disability class? You can’t learn this stuff.”

I don’t write all that to make you feel sympathy for me. My point is that I was lonely. I hated school. I couldn’t make friends, and that experience made my introverted self have a more difficult time making friends. I needed friends. I needed a friend my age or more friends my age at school. I needed support. Now, they came eventually, and I got through. I am here. But it was rather difficult. I remember thinking about what it would be like to be a normal kid as if there was such a thing. We need each other. We all need each other. We are not meant to be alone.

I heard someone say:

“A friend is someone who walks in when everyone is walking out.”

We are in this sermon series titled, Running to Win.

This is about breaking generational traps, finishing well, and running forward through struggles. We move forward through things that we deal with. I have said that we must be humble, approachable, and teachable. This means we need community. We need accountability.

Today, let’s talk about the church:

My theme: Running to win-accountability.

The Application: Stay connected and support each other emotionally, spiritually, and with real-felt needs.

Let’s read Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (ESV)

⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

1. We must let people into our lives.
   1. I do not doubt that many of you are connected with others. But I wonder, are you REALLY connected?
   2. Do you let other people into your life? Do I let others into my life?
   3. A problem with social media is that we only allow people to see what we want them to see. Many times, I can only show the face that I want to.
   4. There are significant problems with depression because of Facebook and social media. Truly, we get online, and we see how happy these other families look; we see the vacation spots they are going to, but we don’t see their struggles.
   5. Of course, we don’t let others into our lives because of this. We are ashamed.
   6. Don’t compare everything you know about yourself with everything you don’t know about someone else.
   7. We are stronger together.
   8. We must be willing to be humble and let others in our lives.
   9. We must get rid of pride and let others in.
   10. We must get rid of envy and let others in.
   11. We must understand that they are often dealing with things we are as well.
   12. Sharing what you are going through with others will feel so good.
   13. We must let people in three ways: emotionally, spiritually, and with real felt needs.
   14. Emotionally, this isn’t always easy. It isn’t easy for me. It is hard to share emotions; they are so personal. But we aren’t meant to live alone. We need support.
   15. Spiritually: this is difficult because we have privatized religion. But we cannot be helped if we do not share with others. Listen, we can’t live the Christian life alone. We cannot discern God’s will on our own.
   16. Proverbs 27:17 (ESV) Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
   17. We must check ourselves and see why we will not share our spiritual state with others.
   18. We must check for pride. Maybe we will feel less than someone else.
   19. Often the spiritual and the emotional go together.
   20. Meet with another believer and pray about your struggles and also your desires.
   21. Are you waiting on a spouse? Pray about that with a close friend.
   22. Are you struggling with your job? Pray about that with a close friend.
   23. Are you struggling with weight and diet? Pray about that with a close friend.
   24. Are you lonely? Pray about that with a close friend.
   25. Do you have a son, daughter, or grandchild dealing with drug abuse or maybe an abusive relationship? Pray about that with a close friend.
   26. In praying with another believer, you support yourself emotionally and spiritually. You are also helping the situation.
   27. We become like rope, weaved together and strengthened.
2. Physical felt needs: This is the easiest to get help with. It is not humbling, or nearly as humbling, asking for help with a move as it is asking for emotional help.

Swindoll writes:

A certain fascinating social phenomenon occurred in American history. Understand, I wasn’t living back then, but from what I read, this actually happened. It occurred when “Go west, young man!” was the challenge of America . . . when squatter’s rights seemed the most advantageous way to pry families loose and dare them to brave the elements via the covered wagon.

Out they came, exchanging the crowded, soot-choked industrial cities back East for the open plains, clear skies, and fertile, albeit rugged, farmland of the West.

Predictably, those early settlers built their cabins or sod huts smack dab in the middle of their homestead, acres (often miles) from the nearest family. Strong, sturdy fences marked property lines as pride of ownership became the badge of courage. Words like independence and private property were common table talk as the young were taught how to fight for survival.

But as time passed all that began to change. As it was put to the test, isolationism proved to be a far cry from ideal. When photographers returned from those lonely houses, they showed pictures of wild-eyed women, stooped, gaunt, prematurely old men, and haunted-looking children. Life was hard making it on their own, especially through bitter winters and fighting off disease and starvation.

More and more settlers learned that they had a better chance of making it if they would build their houses near each other, in the corner of their property rather than in the center. Four families could survive much easier if they loosened their grip on independence, built a gate in their fence, and relinquished their overstated emphasis on privacy. Enduring winter’s blast or a lengthy illness wasn’t nearly so frightful if you had three other families within walking distance. It proved to be much more fun coming together instead of living lonely, separate, touch-me-not lives of isolation.

From all this emerged a proverb:

“Shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow.”

Seasons of the year became more colorful, more hopeful. Farming, harvesting, canning, and slaughtering became group projects. Weddings and worship, gains and losses, births and deaths became shared experiences as mere existence was exchanged for real living . . . entering into each other’s joys as well as sorrows, neighbors becoming friends (then relatives!) . . . sharers in the many-faceted jewel called “living.”

Those old settlers learned what we seem to have forgotten today: pulling closer together is better than existing so far apart. Sharing is still to be preferred to staying aloof. The risks and periodic hassles notwithstanding, four in a corner are better than one in the middle.

A lot of us Western folk come from pioneering stock. The myth of “rugged individualism” dies a hard and bitter death. Our credo says:

“I can handle it.”
“I’ll tough it out somehow.”
“I don’t need to lean on anyone.”
“I’ll just hole up and lick my wounds; no one really cares anyway.”

That may be good Western mythology, but it’s rotten biblical theology. Chase the phrase “one another” through the last half of your New Testament and you’ll see what I mean. We really do need each other. More profoundly, more desperately than we even begin to realize. As a matter of fact, we were given to one another by the Lord of the Body—because each one of us has a unique something to contribute—a piece of the divine puzzle no one else on earth can supply (see Ephesians 4).

Where is your sod hut? Out in the middle of some lonely, windswept acres? How long has it been since you’ve had some significant, openhearted, fences-down interaction with folks in a local Body? Too long? Maybe it’s time you moved your hut to the corner of your field. Maybe it’s time you installed a gate in that high, forbidding fence. It could make a big difference in your life.

For some of you, it may even mean survival.[1]

• We must be willing to be involved in the lives of others.
  • I must be willing to sacrifice for others.
  • This goes both ways. We must be willing to listen to others and to pray with others.
  • We must be willing to be close friends.
  • Also, if someone shares their heart with you. Share something back. Share a struggle you have.
  • We grow as Christians together, and we grow stronger together. When we add tension to the rope, we weave that rope together as a Christian family.
  • I was once told that a rope machine takes more than one person to make the rope.
  • It also takes a church sharing together through the week to really be the church and really help us grow. 

Close:

The high school youth group and NJROTC changed me.

You know, I had trouble making friends through Jr. High. I was heavily bullied in Jr. High, and I fought back, which made it worse. The kids were cruel. We were the class of 2000, so many people made a big deal of that. My aunt taught our class and said she never had a class like we were. She meant we were the worst. Maybe it was all the entitlement. But high school came, and in ninth grade, I was invited to a youth group. I also made good friends at the youth group and saw them at school. Now, I had friends at school with similar interests to me. Now, at school I could talk about the Bible and Christian things with friends I knew through youth group. It was great. These new friends introduced me to other friends. I joined Navy Junior Reserve Officer Training Corp (NJROTC). That is a high school military training group. I made more friends that way, and I came out of my shell. I also had a few part-time jobs, which helped me get out of my introverted shell. Things changed. School was not as bad. I still have friends I met in high school youth group with whom I still keep in touch. One of them is my wife, and she became my permanent roommate.

We need each other.

We need each other emotionally, spiritually, and with physical felt needs.

I encourage you to go deeper with our church family. Join a Sunday School class. Meet with one of our brothers or sisters for prayer. Meet often. Don’t just meet every other month.

We are the church through the week. God speaks through His Church. You won’t discern His will alone.

Do you know Christ?

Luke 9:23

God created us to be with him. (Genesis 1-2)

Our sin separated us from God. (Genesis 3)

Sins cannot be removed by good deeds (Gen 4-Mal 4)

Paying the price for sin, Jesus died and rose again. (Matthew – Luke)

Everyone who trusts in him alone has eternal life. (John – Jude)

Life that’s eternal means we will be with Jesus forever. (Revelation 22:5)

[1] https://insight.org/resources/daily-devotional/individual/hope-for-survival2